2009-01-18

Fate.

I am a firm believer in fate. It strings us along in life, and most of the time…without us even realizing it. The painful irony lies in the fact that we have no idea where fate is bringing us. Fate is more of a tour guide, and less of a boss. Fate and I are currently in a duel. I know that it is leading me somewhere, but being the impossibly impatient person that I am, I am almost fed up with this quest. The only thing I do know is what I am want to be doing with myself.

I know for a fact that I want to be in the movies. But as I found out this past weekend…so does everybody else. I attended an open call in Chicago for the new Meryl Streep/Nancy Meyer’s romantic comedy. The audition called for “a boy who could play an awkward, precocious and unique 17-year-old boy”. Music to my ears. I knew that an opportunity this perfect would not come along every day. I knew fate had decided to mix up my life. What made me so sure of my quest to Chicago, was the fact that everything seemed to line up:

I am no longer attending a neurotic theatre conservatory and taking the semester off instead.
I would not have heard of the audition unless my friend Karissa had called.
Then five people simultaneously told me I needed to audition…I would be stupid not to.
I am utterly obsessed with Meryl Streep.
I am a self-proclaimed “awkward and funny” actor looking for such a roll.
My new years resolution is to be in a film by the end of the year.
The friend that told me of the audition not only could provide lodging but lived mere blocks away from the casting agency.
My birthday is next week and my parents agreed to letting me go, as an early birthday present…regardless of the outcome.

It was peculiarly easy the way things lined up. And the audition itself was painless and extraordinarily interesting to observe. First of all, I have never seen such a myriad of boys in my life. Hundreds of boys of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and experience showed up to the open-call. The audition itself was actually very soothing. Myself and seven other males sitting in a circle being interviewed, and then, asked to read a side from The Breakfast Club. Simple and nice. I got along swimmingly well with the bubbly and lovely casting agent. When it came time for them to deliberate I started a conversation with the guys in the room—to take off any nerves or tension that was present. However, when the agent entered into the room again all of that resumed.

I sat there hoping, just hoping that she would call my name…at least to be taped...to be seen by the production crew of the movie. However, my name was not called, a long with more than half of the males in the room. But the great thing about this was when the casting agent said that it was not because of the talent or audition at all but that I was not awkward or strange looking enough. Not only had the agent previously called me “a tall drink of water”…however you interpret that, but I was not the McLovin in the room or the painfully strange looking guy in the corner...it was a wonderful thing. She further expressed her enthusiasm for me as an actor as I was leaving.

The audition made me feel wonderful about myself. Not only was I a talented actor (as the agent had noticed) but also I’m too attractive to play such a part. I would never think such a thing of myself. So in a way, there was no loss in this matter. Yes, at first I was disturbed and saddened (which is human nature), but only for a mere second. I had not only proved to myself that I could go to an open call for a major motion picture, but also hold my own and stand rejection…it didn’t really phase me, like it did to others. I was treated amazingly by the casting agent—we laughed and high-fived each other…but in the end I did not solve their problem. It wasn’t because of my acting or ability, but simply because I am not bizarre enough! The other kids in the room were honestly some of the most “interesting” (if you could call it that) guys in the room that I have ever seen…and not the best actors but still brave to show up…and they went on to be filmed. So I did not feel bad. I was proud of my acting and communication with the agent and so was she.

Yes, I am sad all of my fantasies of arriving on set with Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will not come true, but I am hopeful because I am actually an actor now. Heading out to auditions…for film, television and stage. I have surpassed auditions for the school play and gone to Hollywood (sort of)! This experience has made me that much more sure of the fact that I have to go to Los Angeles this Summer and test the waters with casting agencies and auditions. I know, deep down in my bones that this is the industry I will find myself in…it is only a mere matter of fate and time when I will find my home there. But another glorious thing that I realized, is the fact that I am only 19…almost 20…but STILL A BABY! I have my time. I idolize Streep…and she didn’t make her debut into the professional realm of acting until around the age of 25…she went to get an undergrad and then grad degree…and then took the world by storm. I have faith that eventually, I will hopefully forge a similar yet unique trail like Meryl. And instead of playing her strange looking and awkward co-star…perhaps I will play her attractive son or love interest.

The coming months will give me time to work and raise money. But more importantly, it will give me the freedom to grow into myself. God willing, I will have plenty of time to nurture my craft and myself and in turn make my name in Hollywood. I am not The Jonas Brothers, Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus…I am here to stay, and just because I am not making millions at age 19, does not mean that I will not get my opportunity. It is out there…I feel it deep within my spirit and bones. It is only a matter of time before I snatch it with my bare teeth.

1 comment:

Ruth said...

I'm glad your audition went so well, even though you didn't get the part, bubs! I was sending good vibes all day long, just incases.

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