Fabulous.

I am so proud of myself...I have managed to download my old iPod's songs onto Gene Kelley (my new iPod). I did not know this was possible. But it was. So now I have access to wonderful music I listened to in junior high and Arcade Fire...and Mika. Arcade Fire makes me super happy after watching the "Where the Wild Things Are" trailer a gazillion times. GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T! It is beauteous. I wish I was small so I could have played Max...that little prick don't deserve that role! Anyhoo...I am entitling this blog "Fabulous" because several fabulous things occurred this week. A. Saturday night was one of the best times I have had to date. It included King's cup with Root Beer, orgasmic rules and tranny names. I will leave the rest to your imagination. B. The trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are" came out last week...and I like I said, I have been watching it every time I find myself depressed or bored. It is the best cure. C. I had a dance party with myself today. I have been having a series of them in my bedroom. My neighbors probably want to shoot me, but I don't care. Honestly, they are a great cure for Mr. Crabby Pants syndrome. No inhibitions and it makes for great exercise! Not to mention my dogs look at me like I'm an alien. I LOVE IT! D. Then this evening I had some of the best chicken curry of my life at Taj Mahal. Not too spicy and not too mild. It was perfect. E. Upon this Ruth and I managed to advocate for our pal Ru...RuPaul (perhaps you have heard of her...him...her). We managed to turn Ms. Fowler onto RuPaul's Drag Race...which is extremely entertaining. I suggest it for anyone who is bored of America's Next Top Model and wants some tranny action.

But there you have it. Those are some pretty fabulous things... And the best part about it...they are all simple. Simplicity is the key to life.

Note To Self...

I enjoy:
Late nights dedicated to drinking games with Root Beer as a substitute.
Reminiscing about your childhood with friends through music.
BBMAK...who everyone seems to forget...even though they are awesome.
And above all...Space Jam.

Dear Brooke Hogan...

I'm snowed in today and therefore have limited activities. So what do I do? Watch shitty TV (amongst many other things to keep me occupied). One of the shows "Brooke Knows Best" follows the life of Hulk Hogan's untalented daughter, Brooke Hogan. During the episode I watched Brooke was "struggling" because she couldn't decide between returning to college and pursuing her "music career". Mind you, Brooke's music career consists of her thrusting herself around in a music video and having a synthesizer sing for her. Throughout the episode Brooke was looking into pursuing marine biology at Florida Atlantic University, where one of her best friends attends school. But in the end Brooke said in a dramatic and not at all scripted way, "Music is music and college is real...(dramatic pause)...but I don't do real." Okay Brooke, what the hell does that mean? I have a bone to pick with you miss. Yes, your father is Hulk Hogan...a famous wrestler...but nothing more. His career consists of shitty re-runs of that forgettable reality show your family was on. Your mother...is with a twenty something flunk. Your brother just came out of jail (or is still in jail...) and you think that you don't want to do real? The truth Miss Hogan is that right now your bills are being payed by daddy and your reality TV show. Of course you don't "do real". You never have. But PERHAPS you should! But here's the thing that baffles my mind Brooke...can you not do both? You already had your first record that I'm sure did well with the teenage boy demographic. I have had the privilege of hearing one of your songs and and in awe of the computer you hired to sing for you. Brooke...your music career relies on your boobs and sexy body. Yes, as does everyone else, but they at least have the pipes!

Brooke, if I were you...I would GO BACK TO SCHOOL. You are a Hogan. Your family is famous for the following: a beef cake father, slutty mother and jail bound brother. YOU NEED THAT DEGREE Miss Hogan. Besides, I don't know if you realize this but there IS life after college. Just because a majority of music and movie stars ditched college to make it in the industry does not mean there aren't a shit load of others who did go to school! Your time will come when it comes. I am struggling with the same thing lady, but you know what? I am confident that I deserve BOTH a college degree AND my big break when it comes one day. Besides, doesn't your daddy already help pay for your music video expenses and fancy apartment in Miami? Yes, I think he does. I hate to even suggest this Brooke but have you thought of pursuing both school AND music? You should look into it.

Sincerely,
Braden

Wow...that was long winded and I have no idea how I got so emotionally involved. But watching that one episode just made me cringe. The naivety of youth...myself included. But, the snow cleared up a bit (for now) so I'm going to hop on over to Ruth's. No more Hogan for me.

Masquerade.

I'm not enjoying this masquerade. It's convenient for you, but not for me. I'm tired of being chained to the walls like a prisoner. Everyone is dancing...but they don't see me. They don't care to. I wish I could be like you. Accepted. Do you know what it feels like to be silenced? A heavy blindfold covers your eyes. You don't see me. The music booms louder. I am mute. I always have been. My words are whispers to you. Your words come loud and clear. Disapproval. You can try to make me dance until the morning, but I might collapse.

Long Time...No Blog.

It has been quite a long time since my last lengthy blog. I had a fantastic time in New Orleans or Nawlins as I call it. I am fairly sure I gained 10 pounds, which is a feat in itself for my high metabolism. Between the heavenly soul food, location and family...I was in heaven. I didn't worry about ANYTHING. This is rare for me. So here is where my head is at...currently, it could change as soon as the morning hits. I felt incredibly productive today. I applied to not one, but two colleges. Which is quite exasperating. I can't believe I applied to as many schools as I did when I was a senior in high school. It is HARD work. First of all you have to prove yourself on paper and then upon this, you have to be witty. Which for me involves my "Witty" button to be turned on. I wasn't going to apply to any other schools, but then I realized if I wanted a shot of getting out of Colorado, it would be wise to apply to out of state schools that I could actually get into. While I would love to attend USC in the fall, sadly, I think that I will not be accepted. I know I'm not supposed to be negative, but it is better than watching your hopes come plummeting from la-la land. But my applications are barely interesting to anyone else, let alone myself, so I will change the topic.

As I was telling my friend Karissa this evening, over Skype...I am beginning to (knock on wood) have a slighter optimistic outlook on life. I think my biggest problem is thinking TOO much. Normal people usually think about what they are going to eat for dinner, I think about if I will make it as an actor before I die. Normal people think about how good a movie is. I think about how I can get into that movie...or the next of it's kind. I obsess...about everything. Which can be good or bad. Obsessing is acceptable to a point. Obsessing about hygiene is good...but can lead to OCD. Obsessing about my passion of acting is good because it keeps me motivated...but it can lead to my insanity. But for the first time in a long time, I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach the other day that I will one day make it. That it is already in the cards for me. It was comforting. Perhaps, this is why I am becoming more mellow about my current state as a performer. Life ain't amazing, but it ain't bad. I know that I have my work ahead of me--this isn't an easy way of life, but then again nothing I do is ever easy. I was manufactured with a big heart, talent and an open mind. What else could I ask for?

The only time I relapse is when I realize individuals like Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus actually have a career. But then I realize I want to be doing Kaufman not "That's So Raven" the movie. Then I feel fine. But then there are the times when I know that I could be used currently in the film industry. But the thing is, I am in a category unlike any other. People in the industry I come across always tells me, "You are memorable and you stand out because you are so unique". While I am slowly realizing the benefits of my unique look, I am still insecure about it. People tell me I'm attractive but I just don't see it. People tell me I'm talented and it helps...but sometimes I say to myself, "What the fuck am I doing in this business? I don't have what it takes. I'm horrible". And then I give the performance of my life. I am wired differently. I don't know how everything has panned out like it has, but it has done so for a specific reason.

My love, Winslet seems to be the same way. In one interview she was talking about "Titanic" and how during the entire process she felt like they hired the wrong actor. She said, "I was horrible, I wasn't acting, I didn't know what acting was". It is so true. As an actor, I have license to say, that "acting" is quite an anomaly. The so called method actors like Bale and Penn take it so seriously, which I admire to an extent, but acting in itself is funny...it is imitating life. It shouldn't be that hard right? But yet bad actors are so bad at holding the mirror up to themselves and the world around them. So is the key to being a good actor being aware of the universe? Is the key to good acting, good imitation? There are the methods of acting that I have been exposed to, and yes, they work to some extent, but it is so subjective. Sometimes I think I'm a masochist. I don't have to be doing this to myself. But then I realize I get high off of the nerves and butterflies of an audition or callback. And I overdose on the exhilaration of an audiences applause or laughter. When a director agrees with my choices. It is all exhilarating. And as much as I complain or bitch, I love it so much. I just feel like I am getting rusty because I'm not training right now. It's been three months and I feel like I couldn't make it into a Nickelodeon Soap Opera. But then I realize, I am doing the most important work right now...I am out in the real world and observing. I find a new character every day. Sometimes without even looking. They are everywhere. And that in itself is a vital tool for the actor.

Anyhoo...don't know I got into that rant but it happened. The point is...uncertainty is apart of being an actor and living on this planet. You NEVER know what is going to happen. An actor's life can change the instant he gets a phone call for the next big film or when he doesn't get the film. It is all about living in delicious ambiguity. You can't dwell on the audition you failed or the audition you nailed. You can't assume anything. You have to live your life and the opportunities will present themselves. With this logic I have begun to realize that college will not hinder me as a performer OR an individual. A good friend of mine told me today that college would be a good fit for me because I am "so smart". I blushed. But in all honesty, since being away from hardcore text books I feel like I am a bit rusty in that department. And I want to be a Linney, Streep and Winslet...I want to be knowledgeable about my craft but about the world I live in. Why certain things work a certain way. I want to ask questions. And I want to find the answers.

Only the Good Die Young.

Na'lins.

I leave tomorrow (bright and early) for Na'lins or New Orleans for you muggles out there. I am ecstatic to re-trace my childhood and inhale the euphoric food that the city possesses. Yes, New Orleans was hit hard with Katrina, but if any city can handle it, it is New Orleans. You can see the spirit of the people when you walk around, I can't wait to be re-acquainted with it. Well, since I have to wake up super early, I am going to call it a night and try to get some sleep. But we shall see if that even works! Gone for the week but I will be back soon enough to share some stories AND pictures. Peace.

When Models Attack.

This is what happens when you open top model up to short people Tyra! They go craycray!!!

Applying My Soul Away.

Sadly, I was disappointed by tonight's SNL. Come on Tracy Morgan, I know you can do better! Oh poor SNL, it is slowly reaching its demise. Those new girls don't have an ounce of funny in their bones. Minus the great Barbara Walters impression. But anyway, now that that tangent is over. College Applications. I forgot how tedious and stressful they are. I just finished my Vassar college app. I did it in an evening...(since it is due tomorrow)...both the common application and the supplement. Now, I just have to collect the transcripts and recommendation forms and all of that really annoying stuff. And once that is over I have to find a cheaper school...I promised my dad. For some reason he has just quit on the notion of receiving any financial aid. Which is stupid. Because I have to get something! Even if it is worth a penny. But I will seek out a cheaper school...not that many schools are cheap any more though.

In other news...I am working on getting fit. Ever so slowly. I think it is the one thing that is holding me back from being totally confident. So I am going to do it...if it kills me. Which it probably will. Also, I was very productive today with my college application AND submissions. Every time I send out a stack of submissions I always feel like I'm a good little actor. Currently, I'm an actor, manager and agent rolled into one. Yes, I have sent out many submissions over the mail and yes, I haven't heard back from hardly any of them (the internet submissions is where it is at) but at least I am putting myself out there. It can't hurt my chances. It can only help. So that is what I will continue to do...until I find an agent and book a project.

I leave for New Orleans Monday morning. I am VERY excited. That city is so unique and so historic. It embodies Europe and American history at the same time. Not to mention the food is the best food in the country, if not the world. Get me some crawdads up in here! And I get to visit my Babi and Grandpa Oci...every trip there is a blast to the past. I lived there for two years in my childhood and still can't get the scents and memories out of my head. It will be great to reminisce--see familiar faces, places and eat familiar delightfully delicious foods. That is if I don't get or have already been exposed to the stomach plague that Ruth just contracted last night. And since we have been in contact so much I am weary that I will begin to projectile vomit as soon as I step into airport security on Monday. Hopefully, this will not be the case. Hopefully.

Lastly, tomorrow is the reveal of HGTV's "Dream House 2009". My mother is utterly convinced that she will be winning it since she has entered every day (twice) for the past 40 days. I myself would love to have my family win the home since it is a gorgeous northern Californian estate. I dunno. It would be pretty phenomenal if they did win...out of how many millions of entries there are. But she DID create a vision board with the house all of over it. So who knows? For my mother's sake I hope she wins it...she even started to clean the house, just in case the camera crews showed up. My dad found this funny, she did not. It is rather cute. I pray her hopes don't come crashing down. But my family has never really had a lucky streak with winning any contests.

Museum.

My trip to the Museum of Natural History was wonderful. From planetarium experiences to viewing the Grand Canyon ala IMAX it was just what I needed to escape over thinking or worrying about my life. Whenever I go to a museum of any kind, I am instantly transported to my childhood as a five year old. It was lovely. Truly. Magnificent dinosaurs, polar bears, kangaroos and space men!

In other news I had an incredible "30 Rock" marathon with two of my greatest friends and it was wonderful. I am wholeheartedly in love with that show, all of the actors and especially Tina Fey. I want to go to there. Honestly, I do. I would be the happiest 20 year old actor if I even got asked to be an extra on the damn show. The genius that comes out of each episode is inspiring and it is one of those shows that reminds me why I want to be in this business.

To add to this...Seth Meyers has a point.

Revelation.

(Knock on wood) but I think my neurotic worrying is coming to a slow stop. After three months of being in this realm I call "limbo"...I have finally begun to realize that I will indeed be okay. While I am eager as ever to jump into the playing field and move to Los Angeles and ditch college...I know that this would be an unwise decision. Many of the actors and performers I idolize the most (Linney and Streep among them) had a strong collegiate education. Not to say that all actors need a college education, but in my case I think it would certainly help. I re-evaluated my goals and dreams as a performer and realized that college would not hurt my chances of becoming what I want to be. In fact, it may even benefit me more (with the networking and experiences I will have...wherever I end up). AND it is only two and a half more years...and then I will satisfy both my family and myself. AND THEN I can go on to become the performer I want to be without worrying if I can get a day/"survival" job because I don't have a degree.

The truth is...our world is becoming an (even more) intensely competitive environment. Everyone wants to be an actor and everyone needs a job. The standards are being risen...with college acceptance rates and I don't even want to think of the statistics of how many actor's are trying to find gigs or agents. Therefore, because of such circumstances found with this and the rotting economy, a degree is "vital" as President Obama said. While I have always had the mindset of a race horse at the gate, I think I need to give myself more time to develop both as an individual and as an actor. So many actors my age have decided to throw away a college education and just go to L.A. to become the next big star...unfortunately only 5% (approximately) actually find true success. And most youthful actors have sold their souls to the Disney or Nickelodeon corporations. Their careers are extremely strong but then fall quickly after a five year period. I don't want to be in that category...I want to be remembered. While this may sound absurd, I guess my biggest fear is that I would die or be caught in a serious accident before I was able to make it in show business. I know it sounds ridiculous. But then I thought about it. And you know what...there is a thing called fate. Everything happens for a reason. I still firmly believe in that. This hiatus from school has taught me many lessons about myself and my expectations. One of them being that I will NOT settle for anything less than my dreams. I re-iterate a quote from my last entry, "The day you let go of your dreams, is the day you let go of your life".

I will not only sacrifice anything for my dreams but I will make sure that one day they come true. Or in my eyes...I will see myself as a failure. But I have no worries. I have my dreams to set me on my way. I have the talent, drive and open mind. I have my faith to rely on. And I just need the patience to let me know that it is okay if it takes times time to reach those dreams. I know that I have so much to offer as an artist and individual and I know that someday (may not be tomorrow or next week)...but someday I will be known for my craft and for my contributions to this industry. Some day.

On a random note...I am excited because Ruth and I are embarking on an adventure tomorrow to Denver's Museum of Natural History. Going to see me some dinosaurs, watch an IMAX film and study the stars. I love adventures.

Dreams.

"The day you let go of your dreams...
is the day you let go of your life."
-Lil Rounds


On a completely different note, and to add to this entry...I was downloading a plethora of music from iTunes, Cd's etc...and I noticed that iTunes categorized the film "Rachel Getting Married" into comedy. I found this to be utterly ridiculous and appalling. Really iTunes? Have you seen the film...I don't think Anne Hathaway killing her baby brother and slapping her mother silly warrants giggles. Do you?

Corner of My Heart.

I love trees. There is a profound amount of beauty in one tree. My personal favorites are the ones with large trunks and branches so fantastical that they belong in a Grimm's fairytale. I don't really know why I have decided to share that with you...but I did. While I'm at it I will share with you some of my loves, inspirations and aspirations. Not including the obvious: family, friends and pets). I obviously can't include all of my loves in one blog but here are a couple dozen for now...

Just a sample...

Upgrade.

I am inspired to work out after seeing "Watchmen". Is that weird? Perhaps it was the giant (chiseled) naked blue man (also known as Dr. Manhattan). I dunno. All I DO know is that I enjoyed the movie and tomorrow I begin my strict regimen. Damn it...I will be proud of my body before summer hits. On top of this I just re-read the TIME article with Kate Winslet on the cover...so good. Seeing movies and reading articles like that constantly inspire me and remind me why I am in this business. So yes, tomorrow I begin the transformation (I'm not changing, just upgrading) into a new and improved Braden and actor.

Oh Tyra.

Why are you such a guilty pleasure of mine? You are so egotistical but yet so alluring. You are FIERCE and absurd. You are an anomaly. You are so oblivious to the way others see you. I was watching your show the other day with my mother and I am not quite sure you were aware of the looks your audience members were giving you. Yes, without you, "The Soup" would have no material. And diamond encrusted Vaseline jars would not exist. You have proven that even supermodels can have an hour talk show. And with this, you have also proven that models should stay on the covers of magazines. But alas, I still can't hate you because I love you. I love you Tyra Banks. SO much.

IHOP.

Every time I go to the IHOP I seem to get into a deep conversation. Tonight's: Religion and Death. Usually, however, I am content after my discussion. But tonight's discussion left me worried and nervous. I don't like thinking about family, friends or even myself dying. I just don't like it. I know it helps re-evaluate my priorities in life and makes me feel so glad to be alive. But I don't like thinking about losing people. It is the worst feeling. Not really in the mood to write much tonight. So alas, I am going to snuggle up to some tea and "John Adams"...the show just keeps on getting better!

Oh Linney you so fine!

Blurg.

I think I am getting sick once again. How can I tell? My left lymph node usually feels swollen, and boy does it ever right now! Damn the sickness...it comes in waves. It seems to me that everyone and their sister is sick now. Anyhoo...it is almost Friday and this week has been rather shitty. In the course of the week I have managed to contract sickness once again, have become Hollister's bitch and managed to break down my dad's car (and that was all on Wednesday). Needless to say, I am glad the weekend is coming...not that it is any different from any other day in my current existence. I am so sorry and tired of being pessimistic. All the time I am sure all of you think I am just a winy little bastard that needs to enjoy the warm weather. I am in agreement with you, and this part of me annoys myself as well! I will not complain about one thing...and that is the fact that the weather was so perfect this week....so sunny. It has not felt like winter...at all. I am thankful for that.

In other news...I was called in to audition for a short film yesterday. Sadly, the audition is in NYC tomorrow at 4:20...and the plane ticket too expensive. Slash I don't have anyone to stay with there. But it is okay. I have learned that stressing about my inabilities and missed opportunities will not further my success or mental health. I found my self obsessing about such things before...how I did with auditions, etc...and it was sick. Incredibly so. So ya know what? I am going to live this temporary life in Fort Collins, Colorado. And enjoy it as much as possible. I will continue to live life with certain goals set and certain hopes of reaching them. But these goals I set have to be reasonable. Living in LA within the summer...is NOT reasonable. Visiting however, IS. Baby steps. Hard for my size 13 feet to imagine, but I must take baby steps. I wrote to Ellen again...DeGeneres. I am hoping it will actually reach her. I really want to go to her show. I have been trying for months. I have written over six letters...and will not stop until I get a response. I DEMAND A RESPONSE...some day.

Hmmm lets see...I re-connected with my childhood friend, Sally. We have literally known each other since the beginning of time. She has been the one individual in my life (family and relative set aside) who has kept in contact with me for such a long period of time. We have the same goals and dreams in life and I am very excited to talk to her on the phone tomorrow. Also, I am now leaning towards returning to college in the fall since Obama demands me to and I deserve a degree. I think my remaining time in college will help to develop my smarts and my looks (hopefully). I am praying to the Jesus that I get into USC and am currently searching for cheaper public schools to attend...in case that falls through. I am a smart kid and I owe it to myself to get a degree! Plus...acting will always be there...LA will always be there...NYC will always be there...and hopefully I will still be alive (God willing). But yup that is about all really...and my lymph node is starting to radiate pain now. So I am going to retire to my bed...make some tea and watch another episode of "John Adams"...so good...I love me a good dose of Linney. Linney heals all.

Mr. Coffee.

I didn't know what to name this blog. But...Hooray! The internet is actually working again! Who knew I missed blogging so much?! Whenever I lose Wi-Fi, I remind myself how screwed our society would be without the internet. No way to check e-mail, no way to stay connected with others on such luxuries as Facebook or Twitter. Yeah people bitch about both websites, but let us face it...we would not be able to connect with so many people without them! And then I go back to cell phones...what would our society be like without cell phones...what were we like back then? Maybe I was too young to care about cell phones, but damn they sure help with staying connected to people. People complain about not being able to reach someone after they tried calling a couple time, what was it like in the dark ages (also known as junior high)...how did our parents do it? Anyway, now that my thoughts on technology have ceased I can catch you up on my oh so exciting life in Northern Colorado.

Well...where to begin?! My life has actually been rather boring of late. I actually begin my first full shifts this Wednesday and Thursday (7am-Noon)...not bad hours...I only have to deal with people coming into the store for an hour since it doesn't open until 11...and who comes to shop at Hollister at 11? I sure wouldn't. I don't shop at Hollister. Ugh...something about that store gives me the heeby jeebies...and it ain't the clothes. So I am going to enjoy my time tomorrow...and will most likely (if the wind permits, go for a lovely run/speed-walk). I have been rather pro-active with my submissions. Karissa and I have been helping each other along the way since it is both of our goals to get a gig so big we don't have to go back to school (sshhh, don't tell anyone). Although I think my parents have caught on already...by now I actually think they would be more surprised if I went back to school.

SO...Karissa and I have been finding films and television shows that are accepting submissions (at least I think so...we pray they are at least). I sent out four today (three of them being in L.A. and one in London). I think both Karissa and I are at points in our life where success with our acting would most likely redeem the insanity or limbo we find ourselves in currently. She has to deal with pre-mature bitches that belong in kindergarten, and I am (temporarily) glued to the landscape of Northern Colorado. But not for long. I promise you. I promise myself that. Every time I mention Los Angeles to my parents they just moan, groan and roll their eyes. They are so far removed from the notion that it is a mere joke to them...but I know inside they are terrified of the very notion becoming reality...shit, it terrifies me! And currently a very nice gentleman is working on making copies of my "Actor's Slate" DVD which I hope to send out in mass quantities to agents (predominantly in L.A.) with my resume and headshot. I realize that most agents only accept referrals and stuff like that, but while I am where I am right now, it doesn't hurt to send submissions to them! I am not too hopeful of an agent actually contacting me from a simple submission of a headshot, resume and actor's slate DVD. However, that would be mind blowingly awesome if they did such a thing. If such a thing were to happen I would move to L.A. immediately. But either way, it is getting my name out there, so that when I do decide to venture out to the big, scary city I will hopefully have more exposure to casting agents, etc.

So once I get those DVD's...more headshots and envelopes in my hands...and money to mail them...I will be good. Damn, it is expensive relying on the US Mail. Shoot $4.50 for a basic price! So imagine how expensive it becomes when I am trying to send up to 35 in the period of two weeks. Today my dad was rather generous in helping fund the four submissions I sent out today. And that is proof that I know he believes in me. He is just nervous for me, which is understandable. My mom is in the same position. They are both so terrified to see my big dreams and big eyes come crashing down to a halt when nothing comes from my efforts. I myself am aware of this possibility, but to me it will only become a possibility...not an outcome.I will try my damnedest and give it all I have...and if that isn't enough than stick a fork through me. But one can not think such thoughts when they are embarking on such an epic journey like I am. This is a big and risky path. To me it is not a career or work, it is my life. And I will make sure it becomes reality. But getting myself organized (with the headshots and resumes and everything) has made me feel more official since I really am working for me. I'm my own boss. I have to be organized. So I spent last night viciously rummaging through my closet and my room--cleaning, dusting and making my room seem orderly. Because I thoroughly believe that the state of an individual's room mirrors their emotional state.

Other than that...I do believe I have caught you up on the past couple of days I call my life. Exciting ain't it?! On another note, I am actually beginning to grow facial hair on my chin and it is slowly becoming more than a 5:00 shadow. But it doesn't matter...because I have to shave anyway for work come Wednesday morning. Ugh. I wish I could get my Ben and Jerry's job back...it was such a great part time job to have! So easy, so great and no bitches involved. However, we are in an economic crisis, shoot me. I am so sick of worrying about money. Money does make the world go around (unfortunately). Although, I have to change my negative outlook on life. I have to switch the negativity with positivity and switch the daggers with cookies. So now I sit in my room at a late hour on Monday...Tuesday morning (haha like the store) and I can only wonder if this game called my life will ever resolve itself in the near future or if I am going to have to seek a huge change in my life. Scary. Perhaps I will go knit more of Ruth's scarf and watch Mean Girls to get my mind off of the subject. Tina Fey's writing is brilliant and so random. I love it. Peace.