(Knock on wood) but I think my neurotic worrying is coming to a slow stop. After three months of being in this realm I call "limbo"...I have finally begun to realize that I will indeed be okay. While I am eager as ever to jump into the playing field and move to Los Angeles and ditch college...I know that this would be an unwise decision. Many of the actors and performers I idolize the most (Linney and Streep among them) had a strong collegiate education. Not to say that all actors need a college education, but in my case I think it would certainly help. I re-evaluated my goals and dreams as a performer and realized that college would not hurt my chances of becoming what I want to be. In fact, it may even benefit me more (with the networking and experiences I will have...wherever I end up). AND it is only two and a half more years...and then I will satisfy both my family and myself. AND THEN I can go on to become the performer I want to be without worrying if I can get a day/"survival" job because I don't have a degree.
The truth is...our world is becoming an (even more) intensely competitive environment. Everyone wants to be an actor and everyone needs a job. The standards are being risen...with college acceptance rates and I don't even want to think of the statistics of how many actor's are trying to find gigs or agents. Therefore, because of such circumstances found with this and the rotting economy, a degree is "vital" as President Obama said. While I have always had the mindset of a race horse at the gate, I think I need to give myself more time to develop both as an individual and as an actor. So many actors my age have decided to throw away a college education and just go to L.A. to become the next big star...unfortunately only 5% (approximately) actually find true success. And most youthful actors have sold their souls to the Disney or Nickelodeon corporations. Their careers are extremely strong but then fall quickly after a five year period. I don't want to be in that category...I want to be remembered. While this may sound absurd, I guess my biggest fear is that I would die or be caught in a serious accident before I was able to make it in show business. I know it sounds ridiculous. But then I thought about it. And you know what...there is a thing called fate. Everything happens for a reason. I still firmly believe in that. This hiatus from school has taught me many lessons about myself and my expectations. One of them being that I will NOT settle for anything less than my dreams. I re-iterate a quote from my last entry, "The day you let go of your dreams, is the day you let go of your life".
I will not only sacrifice anything for my dreams but I will make sure that one day they come true. Or in my eyes...I will see myself as a failure. But I have no worries. I have my dreams to set me on my way. I have the talent, drive and open mind. I have my faith to rely on. And I just need the patience to let me know that it is okay if it takes times time to reach those dreams. I know that I have so much to offer as an artist and individual and I know that someday (may not be tomorrow or next week)...but someday I will be known for my craft and for my contributions to this industry. Some day.
On a random note...I am excited because Ruth and I are embarking on an adventure tomorrow to Denver's Museum of Natural History. Going to see me some dinosaurs, watch an IMAX film and study the stars. I love adventures.
The truth is...our world is becoming an (even more) intensely competitive environment. Everyone wants to be an actor and everyone needs a job. The standards are being risen...with college acceptance rates and I don't even want to think of the statistics of how many actor's are trying to find gigs or agents. Therefore, because of such circumstances found with this and the rotting economy, a degree is "vital" as President Obama said. While I have always had the mindset of a race horse at the gate, I think I need to give myself more time to develop both as an individual and as an actor. So many actors my age have decided to throw away a college education and just go to L.A. to become the next big star...unfortunately only 5% (approximately) actually find true success. And most youthful actors have sold their souls to the Disney or Nickelodeon corporations. Their careers are extremely strong but then fall quickly after a five year period. I don't want to be in that category...I want to be remembered. While this may sound absurd, I guess my biggest fear is that I would die or be caught in a serious accident before I was able to make it in show business. I know it sounds ridiculous. But then I thought about it. And you know what...there is a thing called fate. Everything happens for a reason. I still firmly believe in that. This hiatus from school has taught me many lessons about myself and my expectations. One of them being that I will NOT settle for anything less than my dreams. I re-iterate a quote from my last entry, "The day you let go of your dreams, is the day you let go of your life".
I will not only sacrifice anything for my dreams but I will make sure that one day they come true. Or in my eyes...I will see myself as a failure. But I have no worries. I have my dreams to set me on my way. I have the talent, drive and open mind. I have my faith to rely on. And I just need the patience to let me know that it is okay if it takes times time to reach those dreams. I know that I have so much to offer as an artist and individual and I know that someday (may not be tomorrow or next week)...but someday I will be known for my craft and for my contributions to this industry. Some day.
On a random note...I am excited because Ruth and I are embarking on an adventure tomorrow to Denver's Museum of Natural History. Going to see me some dinosaurs, watch an IMAX film and study the stars. I love adventures.
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