2009-05-25

Rainy Memorial Day.

I open the shop tomorrow so this bloggy is going to be a short one. I just returned from a rousing evening with the Eulbergs. Not only did we have a delicious dinner but we also played an appetizing card game for several hours...it was quite fun. Man do those people get into their cards! I love it...I think I am going to indoctrinate my own family in the way of serious card playing. There could have been nothing better to do this evening since it was pretty pathetic outside...meaning drowsy and rainy. Come on summer...I know you are out there...show yourself!

I have been working A LOT...which is tiring sometimes but an excellent way to make money. And with the hours I am working I will definitely have a fairly good chunk of money for the fall (if I save most of it...which I am planning on). Thank God I make tips...I live day to day on my tips. Speaking of fall...this week (hopefully) I will find out my final admissions status from University of Southern California (i.e whether I am accepted or rejected. Hopefully it is the first one). Give me your good vibes this week bloggers or bloggy readers! I will definitely need it. Yesterday at Evan's graduation barbecue I was amongst many relatives and all of them asked me what my plans are for the fall. I told them of my California schools and they wished me the best of luck. I played it off coolly but inside I was shaking...I am still shaking in my boots...right now these schools are my way out Colorado...well let me re-phrase...the only way my parents would support my move to California.

When it comes down to it...I know for a fact that I belong at either USC or Chapman. I have had a sturdy academic background (with the exception of 2 D's in high school), an expansive amount of activities, dedication, passion and professionalism with both school itself and acting. I didn't go to school this semester so I could work...and I have been working a lot...I feel like I am a damn good candidate...but I probably shouldn't be saying such things in case I get a small white envelope this week instead of a nice juicy red "Welcome" package. A very, very, very small part of me doesn't even want to see the rejection letter. I don't want to see another physical reminder of how I wasn't good enough for somewhere or someone. I would like to build up my confidence...not completely shatter. Everyone asked me what my plans were if I were rejected from both schools...and honestly the only thing I can think of now is moving out to L.A. and working...taking acting classes and auditioning...and perhaps re-applying to USC and surrounding schools like UCLA. Preferably I would like to see a positive letter/package this week since I have been waiting for six months...not to mention everyone in my life basically knows how much I want to go to USC and or Chapman...just to be in L.A. and work...and not receiving admission would be a huge let down for myself but also for others...although perhaps a huge financial relief for my parents. Also a huge relief for you bloggy readers...I myself am fed up with my constant doting on admissions statuses and such...but you have to put your place in my shoes...this is such a nerve wrecking process! I don't remember being this nervous during my senior year of high school! It probably doesn't help that I continue to read and comment on the USC admissions message board every time I log onto my computer.

It is a hard thing not knowing where the hell you are going to be in the fall. I know where I want to be...and I want to be there so badly...I just hope that my life and destiny agrees with what I want so very badly. Well I would expand on this bloggy but going to get some shut eye so I am not a complete zombie tomorrow at work. Night!

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