Ah Hell No YouTube.

Dear YouTube Celebrities (Fred, Bo Burnham, Julian Smith, Etc),

I am done with you. Perhaps I am a bit bitter at the fact that someone can gain instant fame from posting a five minute video on a subject that is universally over-rated...ahem...Facebook. Here's the thing. I don't care if you enjoy making movies for your sake. I don't care if you post them online. I don't even care if people like them. But here is where I draw the line. Maybe it is the actor in me that finds it incredibly unfair, but how does one like Fred or Julian Smith receive a multi-million dollar contract with a major company like Disney? For making beautiful films or works of art? No. For making shitty, over-done, over killed, shallow three minute films. Not even films. I don't get it. I semi understand the individuals like Bo Burnham who have used YouTube as an outlet for their music. Bo Burnham has since become quite popular and has even released an album on iTunes. Even more, he has a film in the works with the Appatow clan. Yes, I guess you could say that I am extremely jealous. Maybe just because I do want that...in the long run. However, in the end, I want to be known as a true performer. Someone who got to that magnificent destination without the aid of YouTube or the internet.

I can now thank YouTube for making this industry EVEN HARDER to break into. Don't get me wrong, I love me a good YouTube video. Christian the Lion, The Burt and Ernie rap and countless others...but rarely do I enjoy a video produced by an individual like Fred or Bo Burnham...and now Julian Smith. My fear is that if an agency employs one individual like Fred...how can they not take interest in the countless others who are more entertaining or talented? YouTube is now a competition for who can be the wittiest in four minutes. Who can get the most views or followers. Everything is now a popularity contest. And it is times like this when I wish we could revert to the industry circa 1920-1980. A time when actors, musicians and performers a like became known for their talents...looks were just a plus. Yes, knowing people has always helped, but now it seems that is the only way to break in.

And Julian Smith...who I have just recently been introduced to. Every video you post on YouTube has the visual quality of a film seen in the theaters. Which leads me to think that you have help. People working with you to produce such things. Money...to buy all of the expensive camera equipment. It becomes a little harder for someone to do such things when they don't have the supplies. So yes, I am jealous of you. I'm jealous of you because you are having meetings with people in LA...meeting with agencies. The exact thing that I want to accomplish. Maybe that is it. I need to harness my creative ideas and wit and produce the goddamn wittiest YouTube video the world has ever seen. Or maybe I need to shout pointless phrases through a voice synthesizer like Fred. Or write dirty songs like Bo Burnham. Or dance like Patton Oswalt's freaky child to get an agencies attention.

Yes Julian Smith, Fred, Bo Burnham, anyone of the like, I have an issue with you. Either you help a brother out or you retire. I have an issue because I know that there are hundreds upon hundreds of people who are funnier or more talented than yourselves but they don't happen to have the platform that you have. They don't happen to have the oodles and oodles of equipment that you do to make things possible. But you know what? Even though I am jealous of the success your childish videos have brought, I still know that it will feel a hell of a lot better when I achieve success the hard way. So enough. Enough of you "witty" teenage boys making videos about Facebook and our fucked up generation. I am done with you.

Sincerely,
Braden