OFFICIALLY Summer.

So it took a little bit longer for summer to spring upon Northern Colorado, but I think (knock on wood) it has sprung! How do I know this...between the hot weather, the bright sun and fun sleep-overs in tents, it is hard not to think it is summer! It is even warm enough to go skinny dipping (which I plan on doing very soon...sshhh, don't tell the authorities). Things are moving, that is for sure. It is already June 19th and just a moment ago I was flipping my calendar from May to June. Time does move fast when you are occupied or having fun. And sometimes, it goes by far too fast! But ever since I have begun focusing on the present, I have been very content and happy. I have come to terms with the fact that all of the exciting opportunities (as far as film, television, stage and acting work goes) will not be presented to me until the fall...but I have all of this time beforehand to enjoy my summer and friends and work. I cannot think about tomorrow or the next week or next month because they will come to me eventually...and I would have been worrying too much about the future that I missed out on all of the joy and beauty of the present. We do more in one day than we think we do...we call it being bored...but we are really actively participating in life...regardless of how "exciting" the activities in our lives are.

I must admit, I was a bit freaked out about housing for the fall...but now I am so happy. Housing is not guaranteed for transfers at USC (yeah I know) and so I wanted to try to find a back up in case I was not granted university housing. There were several options that were presented to me, but by a stroke of fate I found my future housemates and house. YES AN ACTUAL HOUSE...in LOS ANGELES! One of the housemates messaged me on Facebook and had seen that I was looking for potential housing...and said he had to go back to Norway because of something with his green card and offered me a spot in his house! I took him up on his offer right away. And it is supposedly really nice and cheap for a house in Los Angeles...AND I will have my own room in case I need to break away from reality and take a nap in privacy. I would be paying almost double the price to share a room with two others in USC housing...I am so unbelievably stoked. My housemates seem incredibly cool and are also all theatre majors. It will definitely help me make an easier transition into the social world. I am a very outgoing individual, don't get me wrong, but when I am moving to a new location and am put in front of hundreds...thousands of strangers...I go into wallflower mode...and don't act the way I truly do all the rest of the time...it is just bad. This way I can befriend my housemates and have an easier transition into meeting fellow theatre majors, etc instead of being paralyzed in nerves and anxiety.

I have already met an abundant amount of theatre majors and USC students in general on Facebook...they have all been so gracious in offering me help, advice and invites to parties when I come to LA. Which will be sooner than I thought it would be initially. Technically the lease starts August 1st, but I am going to try to find some grace period of a week or so to wait to move out there. I am excited, but at the same time I do not want to cut my summer short by any means. But right now that is too far ahead in the future to think about. Orientation is less than two weeks away...oh my goodness. Right now I am going to take a little nap before work and just chill. Because it is the summer...and I can nap whenever I want (kind of).

It's Beginning to Hit Me.

It hit me. Again. Just this very minute. I am going to be living in Los Angeles. Yes...I am scared shitless. But the nerves are equally met with a feeling of relief and excitement. It is enough to know that I will be attending one of the best Universities and Theatre programs in the United States...but what really gets me going is the location. Los Angeles...Hollywood. THE BIG LEAGUES. Yes, I will land in LAX and probably start shaking in my boots. I will probably begin to doubt my abilities, my strength and my courage. But then I will remind myself that I am PHYSICALLY pursuing my dreams. For so long I have talked to people about moving out to L.A. to pursue my acting career. How I was going to continue my studies at USC while auditioning and starting my career...and I am sure many of those people just rolled their eyes and thought, "How cute...how naive of him". But then it happened. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! Twas a dark and rainy evening when I ran out to the mailbox and saw that beautiful package. It was physical proof of a big success of mine. I hope to have many more in the future.

Not going to lie, a majority of the time people look at me like I am crazy when I tell them I want to be in movies and on big stages. Not that they doubt me or my talents...they just don't think I am strong enough or have the will power. But lately these thoughts have shifted. The other day my mom said, "Wow...whatever Braden puts his mind to...he achieves". She calls up family and friends constantly and tells them the good news about the fall...how she wants to come out and visit me all the time with the family. It feels good to hear sentiments like this again. Truly. For a while there I began to panic...foolishly. I was in a rut. But now, I am happy to report...I am beginning to see the other side of this rut, this tunnel. And it looks promising. I have a lot of support...from family, friends, professors and co-workers. I feel a little shaky (the nerves of starting a new life basically) but I know that things happen for a reason. This happened for a reason. I am already meeting a lot of really kind people from USC and they are pumping me up! Yes there is the occasional distant individual but it IS Facebook. It seems to me that I am one of the only Theatre transfers this year that was accepted...I don't know whether to feel flattered or scared. I have to prove myself to these talented performers and faculty!

I feel a little rusty in theatre, singing and acting...but when it comes down to it, it is just like riding a bike...you always go back to it easily. SO yes...my mind is occupied with thoughts of the future. I have my occasional anxiety...but I think it is the combination of excitement for the fall and my present happiness with how the summer is going that makes me feel content. I love my family...my friends...and work. I don't want to jinx ANYTHING...but I feel that things are moving (ever so slowly) in a good direction. I have to remember why I became an actor and fall in love with this art every day...whether I am in a show or not. Whether I am auditioning or not. This is a huge part of my life. I can't wait to get back into action. When it comes down to it I have a feeling the nerves and anxiety will disappear and I will kick some booty...I have a lot of pent up emotions just waiting to explode!

Now that I made the deposit, am amidst a housing hunt and have signed up for orientation on July 1st...things seems real. Or are at least beginning to form into reality in my head. In other news Emily and I had a little Salsa making gathering at mi casa tonight! It involved many easy going activities...one which included blankets. :) Pictures are attached. Well...goodnight world...you are so fascinating. I hope tomorrow will bring another day of beauty.

A New Anthem...

I don't know about you all but I LOVE the Black Eyed Peas...I know you either love them or hate them but I have been listening to them since I was in junior high. I have been a die hard BEP fan and even defended them during the "My Humps" period...anyhoo...they have just released their new single, "I Gotta Feeling". And it is going to be the sure fired anthem for weekend nights and the summer...and L.A. You have heard it here first! Not to mention if you look really carefully you can see Ruthie's and mine darling Ongina...look for her carefully...she is dancing fabulously in the right corner in a section and jumping into pools...it is quite fantastic. I have provided the video for your visual and audio enjoyment. The anthem of the summer and this fall...it makes me think of L.A. and it gets me supppper exciteeeddd. Not to mention...Fergie in ASSLESS chaps! ;)



In other news...I just saw "Up!" tonight with my lil' brother Colin. That movie is SAD! Yes it has its laughs and its adventure but damn did that movie make me cry. In fact I have never heard so many audible sniffles in the audience since "The Notebook". Throughout the movie I had to remind myself that I was watching a PIXAR/Disney film! Don't get me wrong...it was wonderful...realistic even...showing the truth in grief and the loss of a loved one...but just be warned...UP! is not what it is advertised as!

P.S. I just congratulated Ongina on the cameo in the music video and we had a little chat...it was fantastic. Basically...she is aware of the fact that I am coming to L.A. in the fall...invited me to a show...and said, "Best of luck. I will be seeing you around". Oh I am totally fan girling this out. It hit me again that I am moving to L.A. in the fall! I am actually doing it! Pursuing my dreams. I am scared shitless...but SO happy.

Just Fine.

So...this is going to be a quickie. No...not that kind of quickie...this is a relatively CLEAN blog. But anyhoo babies...life is fine. Just fine. Yes...still fine...not bad in any means...but not AS good as it could be...but that doesn't mean that its not good or great. I think summer brings a lot of great emotions honestly. The weather (with the exception of today's cloudy day) just oozes warmth and happiness. Nothing like lying down on a field of grass or hammock as the sun dozes off behind Old Town Square. Staying up late with friends...sharing stories and laughter...sleep overs. All of it. Work...everything...it is simply grand. And yes, I didn't have to deal with a semester of college this past semester...but I dealt with life, which can sometimes be harder. Sometimes the hardest thing is free time...pondering things can sometimes be a dangerous thing. The tool to one's demise even. The key is stopping...taking a deep breath and opening your eyes. No matter where you are there is beauty everywhere. Whether it was in front of Lake Michigan at twilight on a run or in the middle of Old Town Fort Collins laughing with ice cream in hand...beauty is to be seen...everywhere.

We live in a thriving world. Even though it does not seem like it sometimes...this world is home to life. LIFE...always growing, always changing and always challenging LIFE. Anyone who is bored has not resorted to all of their options. Do something scandalous...go skinny dipping...run through city park screaming something obscene. In this world we do seem to rely on the company of our friends or family or others in general...but the thing is...we answer to ourselves at the end of the day. We are the masters of our destiny (I am aware I have used this phrase many times before...but its so true). If we don't like something we have the ability to change course. If we realized we made a mistake we have the ability to go back...and in sometimes we aren't able to right then and there...but eventually our paths lead us back. Just because I don't see my Chicago friends every day doesn't mean that I don't love them any less (and hopefully vice versa). Friendships are friendships and any decent friend will maintain the bond. In retrospect...I am aware of how grumpy and annoying I was whenever I spoke with my friends...especially the one's I cared for. I'm embarrassed of my behavior but that was the past...this is the present and presently I am an individual who has grown immensely from his mistakes and mishaps. We would not grow any other way...would we? Yes I am not able to go back to Roosevelt...but I'm not barred from visiting the school or the city...or my friends. Yes I am still in the dark with my California schools...but whatever happens will happen for a reason.

Realizing this is the hardest part. That life moves on. That decisions are made...sometimes we can't do anything about them...but we have to move on. We can't stay paralyzed on a square...this is not a board game. You can't be weak or you will crumble. There are so many people in this planet...so many things to do...just because a friend doesn't respond via text or Facebook DOES NOT mean they don't care. I was thoroughly relieved when I recently spoke with my friend Karissa. People can be ridiculous when they obsess about things. I am such a person. I always obsessed about the things that weren't in my control. I always expected every single one of my friends to pay heed to my wants and needs. To be there for me. They were...they just weren't able to talk on the phone or couldn't text me right then and there. While there was a slight change in the way I spoke with Karissa...simply because of time...we were still the same people when it came down to it. The people that are important to you will stick with you throughout your entire life and I thoroughly believe this of many of my Chicago friends. School is school...but it is four years. 2.5 years from now I am sure we will all meet up and perhaps even live in the same city. AND SCHOOL WILL NOT SEGREGATE US! Besides, I am surrounded with great friends here in Colorado as well. And hopefully, come fall, I will be met with new faces and new potential friends.

Life is so unpredictable...but it is this very fact that makes it so orgasmic. Life is never constant...and when it is...that is when it gets boring. And like I said...I try not to do boring. So to answer the question of how I am...yes...I am just fine.

Guess this entry was not as quick as I thought it would be...I have yet to journal today so all of my thoughts were just oozing out of my pores I suppose. Goodnight world...see you in the morning.