Random Thoughts on a Snowy Evening.

It is a winter wonderland once again. In April. Oh my. But this time, I feel cozy. I am wearing an old "Theatre Conservatory" t-shirt and moose pj's. I feel comfortable, and at home. I am about to watch "Will and Grace" as I gently surrender to sleep (at least that is the plan). I don't know which fact to believe...that it is snowing in April or the fact that it has been four months since I've been back home. Four months is a long time. That is almost half the time it takes for a baby to be born. The summer is only a month or so away. That feels so good to say. I am determined to make this summer a great one. Not only am I planning a road trip with some friends, but I am (very close) to getting a job at a very cool business in Old Town (which I will not specify so you don't go out and apply there!) This summer the new Harry Potter movie comes out (and that is always a grand occasion with me and my friends because we are huge nerds and make sure to go to the midnight premiere adorned in a wizard's wardrobe). This year's costumes will be no exception...but I can't reveal our wardrobe quite yet...just know it will be spectacular. This summer is mainly important because it is the transitioning period for going back to school. In the fall my life will begin once again. I will start all over (practically) and be thrown into the threshold of another sophomore class. I will have to make new friends, impress new professors and prove to everyone why I deserve to be there. Since I have yet to receive any notification letters yet from any of my schools (since transfers find out later than freshman) I am now playing the waiting game. I did, however, narrow it down to five schools. Currently I am ranking the five schools in the following order.

1. University of Southern California
2. Chapman University
3. Vassar College
4. Florida State University
5. CU-Boulder

While I would love to apply to the entire country, I narrowed it down to these five for various reasons. Predominantly because of location and the theatre program...or because my parents wanted me to apply to at least to one in-state school. Having roughly 2 years of conservatory training under my belt, I want to obtain both a magnificent theatrical education as well as a liberal arts education this time around. If I find that I want the extra training I can always attend grad school like Meryl Streep or Debra Messing. Sadly, I have been having my doubts about USC simply because it is so damn competitive...and the theatre program even more competitive. But you know what...everything happens for a reason. I spent the most time on the USC application and essay, sent all of the supporting materials out on time and added three additional letters of recommendation...so I won't feel entirely bad if I am denied, because I know I tried my hardest. But for now, I can only wait for my fate. However, I know that whatever happens, I will be lead to a specific place for a specific reason. And hey, nothing is permanent. I know I will end up in Los Angeles after school anyway.

Now that that tangent is over I have a confession to make. I miss Chicago so very much. Not only do I miss the city itself, but I miss the people even more. I met some incredibly amazing people there and am proud to call several of them my best friends. I miss the acting work and I miss the noise and traffic. I miss getting tickets to see Oprah and I miss the feeling of knowing that Oprah was within miles of me at any given moment. But of course everyone is lead to new places for different reasons. My path is leading me elsewhere at the moment.

And every time that I doubt my choice of leaving Roosevelt, I remember why I did it. I needed to. For me. In order for me to grow as a person. As a human. Yes it was a career choice, but it was predominantly a life choice. I know that wherever I am lead to I will make the best of it and soar like I soared in Chicago. I will make my mark someday...but the key is some day. Dreams like mine weren't made in a day. It will take time and effort. And luckily, I am willing to put both in.

Oh "Will and Grace"...you save me all the time.