No one knows exactly how humanity came to be. There are the theories from the Bible and the secular theories such as the big bang theory. Regardless, as Shakespeare would say, "What a piece of work is man". The complexities that surround humanity are just mind blowing. Being a religious person, I'm going to refer to God...but replace God with the universe or what have you if you are not religious. God is a mastermind. The scientist in charge of pushing the lever. The ability to create life. In my eye, I see God holding a giant map before him. This map is the key to humanity. Every single cell, every single body and every single being on this earth was strategically placed for a reason. Like an extravagant symphony, the slightest alteration or missing instrument could cause chaos or commotion. I am a firm believer in fate. But I am also a firm believer in choice. To me, God has woven a beautiful tapestry for each of us--our futures. It is up to us if we follow the right path or go astray...but God knows. Each of us are navigators in this grand game of LIFE. It is up to us whether we choose the career route or the college route. It is up to us if we choose the family route or the single route. We come across crossroads every waking moment of our life. Sometimes they lead us directly to the answer, and sometimes they lead us to a new place so that we can learn that that place is not the right one for us. Nonetheless, I believe that God placed all of us on this earth to accomplish something. Our world would be sickly without the touch of a doctor and our world would be in shambles without the leadership of a President. I'm slowly getting to my point. Everyone has a calling. However, everyone figures out that calling at different times in their lives. Some know at the age of two and some don't ever know and die unhappy.
We have been incredibly lucky to know what our calling is. Performers. Yes, a lot of people identify themselves as "performers"...but God knows the true ones from the shams or scam artists. Just like a true doctor operates for the patient and not the salary, the true actor operates on the art and not the fame. You can teach technicalities of singing or acting...but you absolutely cannot teach God given talent. I know the dancers who were born to dance because of the way they were constructed. Perfect feet--and perfect turn out. Perfect form. It is something that years upon years of training could never surpass or out show. Often throughout the college years young actors or performers fall by the wayside and decide to relinquish their fight to be a professional performer. They realize that they could do better in another field or profession. But for those few, those chosen few, it never dies. It remains to burn a hot and heavy fuel inside the soul. Doubt is inevitable. The very same society we surround ourselves in teaches us to doubt every day. Doubt if we are good enough. Doubt if we are doing the right thing. Doubt if we are in this for ourselves or the art. But the ones that are stronger and are meant to do this will surpass this obstacle. Rome wasn't built in a day...but it sure as hell wasn't built without any effort. Ample amounts of patience, effort perseverance, optimism and talent are all key players in this game.
Rejection is built within the deck of cards. I believe that we are put through emotional term-oil constantly in our lives because it is life's way of testing us...to see if we can handle it. If we can handle the absolute rock bottom horrors that exist within our lives, we will be able to appreciate the absolute euphoria that comes with the highlights of our lives. Not to say that bipolar disorder does not exist, but I believe that it is over-diagnosed since the very world we live in has the biggest case of it. One minute we can find ourselves in complete contentment...and the next our life is in ruins. The remedy to this...belief. Believe in something. Believe in yourself, your life and your future. Empower your existence. There are those that trudge through life...and there are those that dance through it. My career is based upon my belief that I can impact the entertainment industry. I have never doubted my abilities to be successful. However, I have been knocked down countless times...I could have given up then. But I would have considered myself a quitter. And I am not a quitter. I only think of those times as reality checks or check points in my life. Every day we are tested at work, school, at home or even randomly. But if we can rise above the challenge, we can conquer the world.
Everyone deserves to have the best life they can live. But looking upon the sea of great actors and actresses that have come before us, it is undeniable that without risk success is obsolete. You have to make the first move in this game. It may not be comfortable, it may not be safe either...however it may bring you to a new journey and a new outcome. Sometimes there are external forces that conflict with these impulses, but in order to be true to yourself you have to act on them at some point or another. For me right now that impulse is Los Angeles. I know that in order to further my career as an actor I need to move to Los Angeles. But that thought in itself feels shell shocking and horrifying. But then again, so is the sheer principle of acting. Acting, like singing is the opposite of normal. You are presenting yourself to the masses--emotionally vulnerable and naked. It takes guts and passion to do such a thing day in and day out. It is a calling, but it takes chance and risk to be successful in it. Ideally we would like for a great big opportunity to come sweeping over us--just beckoning for us. And then our lives would be answered. We wouldn't have to go back to school and we wouldn't have to keep living something we did not want. But that does not happen. You have to work for it. You have to take the first step. Take the lead in this tango of chance. Do we continue to live this comfortable life that does not fully satisfy all of our wants and needs? Or do we step off the aircraft and plumet into the unknown--with the possibility that an exciting opportunity and parachute will rescue us. It is something that I ask myself everyday. How did I get to where I am right now...I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be driving away from college and back into my parents household. I was always the dreamer, the do-gooder. The city "actor". Pursuing my dreams. And now I am here...in Fort Collins Colorado? What gives?
But like I said earlier. I think every single step that we take in life leads to something. One of my favorite quotes is from Broadway actress Rondi Rheed, "You wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans". It is so true. I am sure God is sitting upstairs in his threshold laughing in amusement...at us. Laughing at us. We have no idea how much our lives can change in one heartbeat. In the time I wrote that last word, three babies were born somewhere...and three elders passed away. The circle of life. The same goes for following our callings. Like Adele sings in one my favorite songs, "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements"? It may seem so absurd to be chasing after a dream like mine or yours...but it will lead somewhere. It is only inevitable. If it is meant to be, it will happen. And we have a say in what the outcome is. We have the ability to pack our lives into boxes and move. And that in itself creates a new life. We are reborn. But our callings will always follow us, no matter how much we change our style, fashion or living quarters. We will be placed into our parts at some point in our life. We just may not fit a certain role right now...but maybe in five years we will.
Oprah Winfrey was born in an impoverished and unhealthy household. A minority and victim of incestuous sexual abuse, who on earth would guess that such an individual would become the richest woman in America? Often success is unexpected. You have to find a nice line between knowing your destination and living in delicious ambiguity. It keeps God from being bored up there. He likes to see our triumphs, but he also loves to see us arise to a good challenge. Survival of the fittest. Those who can't figure out a way around a problem will slowly dissolve. Currently we are met with hard decisions in the foreground. We can let them grow stale and creep up on us, or we can can slowly dissect each element and come to a decision before we are suffocated. It is not easy and it is uncomfortable. The mere thought of a life-changing situation only presents goosebumps and blood curdling thoughts. However, those thoughts are present for a reason and cannot be overlooked. Friends and family are put on this earth to help assist us on our journeys. I am going through the same thing, however, it is something that I am slowly trying to figure out. I suggest the same. Take each day as an adventure. Embark on each journey with a smile and keep an open mind. Opportunities will present themselves, but not without effort. It is so easy to drive ourselves to insanity...thinking of when the time will come. When our big break will be and when we will start living our dreams. To that I say pray. Every night I pray to God and ask him to use me. Please God use my abilities as an actor and performer to touch people. That and my efforts are all that I can do. The rest relies on probability, the hands of others and our destiny to be great performers/artists and actors.
No comments:
Post a Comment