Okay...So I know it has been almost a week since my last blog entry. However, being the superstitious individual I am, I did not want to jinx any luck or good fortune that is (hypothetically or maybe not at all) coming in my direction. I say this because since my last entry several exciting opportunities presented them self. While nothing (automatically) came from them they were still opportunities that normally do not present themselves to most actors at my age who are unrepresented. I won't explain what these opportunities were because once again I don't want to jinx any future projects I submitted for. I will say that these projects involved both television and film! Whatever those opportunities may have been...they instantly validated my abilities to catch casting directors eyes. I pray that these opportunities will present themselves further in the future...and maybe...just maybe something will actually come out of it!
That aside, I start work tomorrow. I was nervous a little while ago. Me working as a Hollister "Model" aka Sales Associate. It just does not seem to fit with my personality. But whatever it may be, it is income. And not a fast food restaurant, so who am I to complain? I'm not nervous anymore though. I don't have to put a show on since I will most likely be the nicest/friendliest employee working there anyway. To be honest I was surprised I was hired in the first place. Apparently I am attractive! It will probably be training anyway so nothing too big.
For the past three hours I have been conversing with four individuals...via Skype, phone, Skype and Facebook chat. Each individual has a special role in my life. The first, one of my grand Chicago friends. The second another one of my grand and best friends. The third, an old and great friend. And the fourth, a supervisor of sorts...and perhaps the key to an exciting opportunity (not related to acting if you can imagine that). Within each conversation lay a common theme. The future. It is so ominous. The future is what we all seem to be battling against. The future holds knowledge we can't possibly know currently. It is like a big ominous cloud that is coming in our direction, but we won't know when the storm hits. That was a horrible analogy. My apologies, I'm rusty in the English department. For me, I know what my future should be. Every day, I take a baby step forward and am closer to finding out what the future holds for me.
I have ALWAYS known that I will someday (and I don't exactly know when) make a name for myself. In the entertainment industry. And I'm not talking about fame. While fame comes with success, my motivation is for me...not for a gazillion cameras or to be "famous". Of course as an actor I want my work to be seen by a broad range of audiences. I want to be able to touch someone with my work. That is my biggest goal. However, with this ambition to be successful as an actor, comes my ambitions to be successful as a leader for our country. I will never be the President...but I do possess Presidential qualities. If you know me, you know I am incredibly driven. When I set my mind to something...it will be completed. Perhaps not automatically but within a certain period of time...it will be completed and executed in the best way possible. I can honestly say that ideally I want to be a jack of trades. I want to master all of my pursuits. I want to be a successful actor of film, television and stage. I also want to host my own talk show at some point in my life. I know I'm re-iterating points from past blogs but this is how I'm feeling.
The fourth individual I spoke with tonight was quite random to be honest. In the past this individual came into my life through chance. And through that chance and my ambitions we formed a coalition. An incredibly exciting opportunity arose and would have most likely been given to myself if this source had followed through with her word. However, being a busy individual, she did not...and left me with broken spirits (not because she meant to). However this evening, for some reason that I'm sure will be explained to me in the near future, she spoke with me. Out of the blue. It is times like this that I know things happen for a reason. Tonight I was telling my friend Erica how when you let the "universe" or God know what you want in life...it will be returned to you if you put in the effort. And I think I have done a generally good job putting in the time and sweat. Anyway, this source who must not be named apologized for her past doings and asked if I had heard from this (unnamed) place. I had told her no and we spoke for what felt like thirty minutes about possibly working together again to obtain the opportunity. So there it is...out of nowhere, unexpectedly drops another possible path for the future. Time will only tell. And as I have learned from being out of school for two months now, patience is key in the professions I find myself entering in.
All that I know is that I couldn't possibly work in anything but the entertainment industry. I am open to the idea of not becoming an actor in the long run, but I will definitely put on my boxing gloves and give a good fight. I pray to God every night and ask him to use my talent and passion for performing. Just put me to good use...whether it be on the screen, or behind it. Just please allow me to fulfill my aspirations and passion. That is all I ask for. And I guess that is why I am antsy right now, because until I do find success in my acting or this industry, I will feel like a failure. But I can't think like that. Thoughts like that will get me nowhere. I can't stress out anymore about immediately moving to Los Angeles or New York. When an opportunity presents itself next time...and that is the only way I can obtain it...maybe, just maybe then I will consider it. But for now, I will endure this position at Hollister, earn money and try to find a second job. I have to repeat this mantra every time I find myself irrationally panicking:
That aside, I start work tomorrow. I was nervous a little while ago. Me working as a Hollister "Model" aka Sales Associate. It just does not seem to fit with my personality. But whatever it may be, it is income. And not a fast food restaurant, so who am I to complain? I'm not nervous anymore though. I don't have to put a show on since I will most likely be the nicest/friendliest employee working there anyway. To be honest I was surprised I was hired in the first place. Apparently I am attractive! It will probably be training anyway so nothing too big.
For the past three hours I have been conversing with four individuals...via Skype, phone, Skype and Facebook chat. Each individual has a special role in my life. The first, one of my grand Chicago friends. The second another one of my grand and best friends. The third, an old and great friend. And the fourth, a supervisor of sorts...and perhaps the key to an exciting opportunity (not related to acting if you can imagine that). Within each conversation lay a common theme. The future. It is so ominous. The future is what we all seem to be battling against. The future holds knowledge we can't possibly know currently. It is like a big ominous cloud that is coming in our direction, but we won't know when the storm hits. That was a horrible analogy. My apologies, I'm rusty in the English department. For me, I know what my future should be. Every day, I take a baby step forward and am closer to finding out what the future holds for me.
I have ALWAYS known that I will someday (and I don't exactly know when) make a name for myself. In the entertainment industry. And I'm not talking about fame. While fame comes with success, my motivation is for me...not for a gazillion cameras or to be "famous". Of course as an actor I want my work to be seen by a broad range of audiences. I want to be able to touch someone with my work. That is my biggest goal. However, with this ambition to be successful as an actor, comes my ambitions to be successful as a leader for our country. I will never be the President...but I do possess Presidential qualities. If you know me, you know I am incredibly driven. When I set my mind to something...it will be completed. Perhaps not automatically but within a certain period of time...it will be completed and executed in the best way possible. I can honestly say that ideally I want to be a jack of trades. I want to master all of my pursuits. I want to be a successful actor of film, television and stage. I also want to host my own talk show at some point in my life. I know I'm re-iterating points from past blogs but this is how I'm feeling.
The fourth individual I spoke with tonight was quite random to be honest. In the past this individual came into my life through chance. And through that chance and my ambitions we formed a coalition. An incredibly exciting opportunity arose and would have most likely been given to myself if this source had followed through with her word. However, being a busy individual, she did not...and left me with broken spirits (not because she meant to). However this evening, for some reason that I'm sure will be explained to me in the near future, she spoke with me. Out of the blue. It is times like this that I know things happen for a reason. Tonight I was telling my friend Erica how when you let the "universe" or God know what you want in life...it will be returned to you if you put in the effort. And I think I have done a generally good job putting in the time and sweat. Anyway, this source who must not be named apologized for her past doings and asked if I had heard from this (unnamed) place. I had told her no and we spoke for what felt like thirty minutes about possibly working together again to obtain the opportunity. So there it is...out of nowhere, unexpectedly drops another possible path for the future. Time will only tell. And as I have learned from being out of school for two months now, patience is key in the professions I find myself entering in.
All that I know is that I couldn't possibly work in anything but the entertainment industry. I am open to the idea of not becoming an actor in the long run, but I will definitely put on my boxing gloves and give a good fight. I pray to God every night and ask him to use my talent and passion for performing. Just put me to good use...whether it be on the screen, or behind it. Just please allow me to fulfill my aspirations and passion. That is all I ask for. And I guess that is why I am antsy right now, because until I do find success in my acting or this industry, I will feel like a failure. But I can't think like that. Thoughts like that will get me nowhere. I can't stress out anymore about immediately moving to Los Angeles or New York. When an opportunity presents itself next time...and that is the only way I can obtain it...maybe, just maybe then I will consider it. But for now, I will endure this position at Hollister, earn money and try to find a second job. I have to repeat this mantra every time I find myself irrationally panicking:
"Life is a journey not a destination. Enjoy the moments".
I already took a giant leap of faith by leaving my life at Roosevelt and CCPA...I can only go up from here. I can only make new mistakes that will teach me new life lessons and I can only strive for the best. If everything is meant to be...I will become what I dream. And I know that for a fact.
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