I'm sitting in class. I would much rather be on a sound stage filming. I daydream so much that reality just seems like such a blur. I am not quite aware of how to get to where I want to be but I know I want to be there. SO badly. Painfully so. It consumes my desires, my passions, my drive and my will. I want this. I do. I want this more then anything--please God, please universe--lend me this opportunity. Please get me in that door and I can work my magic, breathe in what you have leant me and just do it. There is so much to do, so much to show--in a vast sea of hopes and lost dreamers I submerge as a soul who vows to create change and give life to a future. I would be the happiest, the most content creature--pining for a chance. Luck. I need it. I'll make my own. I've got to--it's in me.

From the get go I felt a strange and magnetic pull to this--like I would serendipitously get this chance one day. Did I blow it? Hopefully not. What is done is done. There could have been a million and one ways I could have shown my personality and talent...but only one shot...Chance. I want another chance to show em' what I got. Who I am. I have SO much to give. I am brutally reminded as I sit in class that this is not a life I want to live--I want to bust down these stale brick walls and fly above the expectations everyone seems to have set for me. Constant battering, "You know it's a publicity stunt" or "there are far too many people for this to be real" or "you really think you have a chance?". I know. I am aware. But maybe just maybe I have optimistic hopes of being that one diamond in the ruff they'll find--discover and cultivate. The facts are there are a lot of people who can sing and dance and act--but I honestly feel I could fit the definitions of this show perfectly. And I have been overwhelmed by the support from friends, family and sometimes strangers who come across my video audition.

For those that doubt...you say publicity stunt...I say opportunity. And that is when I realize I'm a dreamer again--just trying to rope in a star--t0 keep it, to hold it and to chase it. SO many people want to do this--but why in the world can't I? I'm different and I suppose that is the most beautiful thing about "Glee"--celebrating and living in the awkward and endearing differences that lie within each of us. I firmly believe in putting your thoughts, desires and dreams out into the open...to be sucked up by God and the universe--so here I am doing that (just as I have been). I KNOW I can do this. I KNOW I gots this. Help me out. Lend a hand. Let chance be my companion and change my future for the better. :)

5 days--there will be five days of videos--some bad, some good--some endearing and some annoying. They will be as diverse as mankind itself. All with one goal--to get the part. Another shot. Another chance. Cue "God I hope I get it" from "A Chorus Line"...I will undoubtedly think of the auditions everyday but should remind myself to stop thinking about competition or anything--it doesn't matter at this point--I just want to be seen and have another shot. Truly. It's out of my hands--I just need to breathe in optimism and stay hopeful. I may be walking on a dream...but it is firmly rooted in ambition and drive. Braden Davis for "GLEE"!

1 comment:

Erica Lea said...

Braden, you are always dreaming about the future, and that's a wonderful thing. In this industry, hope and drive and never-ending hard work are so important. Yet don't forget to live in the present, and take in every moment for what it's worth. You don't want to miss what's right in front of you, miss out on finding joy in all the things you overlook when you focus so intensely on the future. Something will happen in time, but it's not happening now. It's like sitting in a class and stressing over everything you have to get done that evening once class is over. Stressing over it doesn't accomplish those tasks--it's not being productive--so what's the point? I'm not saying daydreaming and hoping so vehemently for something like this is a bad thing, not at all. But don't forget to love where you are, what you do in each moment, and those who surround you. Even if it has nothing to do with your overarching dream. Ted always used to say, "You have to live life before you can emulate it." Live IN life, and I think you'll be surprised at how much satisfaction there is to be found in it :) I hope all's well!!

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