I don't know how to illustrate my point. People don't get it. We live in a society where everyone goes from kindergarten to twelfth grade in a blink of an eye. A society where everyone is expected to jump immediately into the pool known as "college" or a "conservatory" in my case. What people DON'T get, is the fact that they are supposed to be PEOPLE. It is a very tricky thing to be in a field and profession like mine. An actor. I am an actor. I am very proud of that fact...most of the time. I'm proud of that fact when I see my work touching people. I am proud of my work when I see myself improving...finding a medium between passion and professionalism. And I am in absolute euphoria when all of those elements and more are orchestrated into one gorgeous symphony. I guess what I have realized in the past year and a half, is that the most important thing that an actor my age can do, is be a real person. Expose yourself to reality, therefore you can portray that reality on the stage or in film. When you witness a conservatory environment, you will find that it is almost like, for lack of a better word, a zoo. There is an abundance of diverse creatures walking the halls. Some of the inhabitants are regal like the lions, some filled with energy, like the little penguins and some calm and reserved but filled with spunk like the koalas. There is, however, a common thread through these creatures--passion. It is what drives them. But much like the way animals in a zoo are not truly exposed to the wild, these creatures, while diverse and passionate, are not enrolled or invested in the real world.
There comes a point when a living, passionate and dedicated creature cannot stand the constraints of such an environment any more. There comes a time when the zebras want to mingle with their heritage in the savannas of Africa. There comes a time when creatures are ready to truly open up their eyes to the rest of the world and feast upon the beauty that they have been neglecting. Their previous "world" in which they revolved in, while vital, is not important enough. If that creature doesn't escape that realm he or she will never know what they were missing. A better life amongst the untamed wilderness, or surrendering to following the ever constant current. Which path is better in the end? While it is a scary conquest that the creature has to embark on, it is one that will hopefully blossom into something beautiful and better. Passions that are so strong...will never die. However, opportunities that present themselves will. They will disintegrate amongst the graveyard of past opportunities and regrets. While nothing is certain, the creature has to find certainty in what he or she is choosing.
It is survival of the fittest in this thrilling yet cold profession I find myself in. An actor literally flies by the seat of his pants. He is constantly bombarded and asked to do something every minute and is supposed to be able to adapt and complete each task successfully. It is an art. Truly, an art to be able to change. That is the beauty of human beings--evolution. From the past life experiences, we are able to bring the tools and lessons we have learned, yet mold them into ourselves and adapt and bring that to the new challenge that arises. And those that can't simply crumble. I am not a failure, I have never been. In fact those actors that I see succeed and watch on such programs as "Inside the Actor's Studio" have all embarked on their own journey and have tackled everything that has come in their direction. It is a funny thing being an actor. We think that math is not important yet probability runs our lives. The probability we will be discovered, the probability that we picked the perfect day to audition for a certain show at a certain time and that a certain director was watching and happened to cast you. It is so uncertain. Talent and looks are only a fraction of the puzzle. In fact, some of the best actors and actresses of our time, aren't exactly "lookers". What I have taken away from their words of wisdom and my own experience, is that you have to do what you have to do.
Some animals like being kept in captivity--it is safe. But they never truly get to feast upon their other cravings. Actors like Streep and Depp had a burning passion for the theatre and film. But they also had the exposure to the real world. Streep went to Vassar College and received a BA in Theatre...and THEN went on to study at a graduate school. One of the pearls of wisdom that she has shared has been the fact that she had a generalized undergraduate education in college. It is what made her well rounded and in tuned with the world around her. And Depp on the other hand, like a majority of film actors living, did not even attend college. He went on his own journey. And look at him. Look at both of these creatures. Completely different yet somehow immensely successful in the same profession. No one tells us when we screw up our lives or when we take a wrong turn. But deep down inside the cavities of the soul we truly know when we need to take a new direction. A lion knows when to go on a hunt for prey. And an actor knows when his time has come to open the curtain to the world and become a better artist.
There comes a point when a living, passionate and dedicated creature cannot stand the constraints of such an environment any more. There comes a time when the zebras want to mingle with their heritage in the savannas of Africa. There comes a time when creatures are ready to truly open up their eyes to the rest of the world and feast upon the beauty that they have been neglecting. Their previous "world" in which they revolved in, while vital, is not important enough. If that creature doesn't escape that realm he or she will never know what they were missing. A better life amongst the untamed wilderness, or surrendering to following the ever constant current. Which path is better in the end? While it is a scary conquest that the creature has to embark on, it is one that will hopefully blossom into something beautiful and better. Passions that are so strong...will never die. However, opportunities that present themselves will. They will disintegrate amongst the graveyard of past opportunities and regrets. While nothing is certain, the creature has to find certainty in what he or she is choosing.
It is survival of the fittest in this thrilling yet cold profession I find myself in. An actor literally flies by the seat of his pants. He is constantly bombarded and asked to do something every minute and is supposed to be able to adapt and complete each task successfully. It is an art. Truly, an art to be able to change. That is the beauty of human beings--evolution. From the past life experiences, we are able to bring the tools and lessons we have learned, yet mold them into ourselves and adapt and bring that to the new challenge that arises. And those that can't simply crumble. I am not a failure, I have never been. In fact those actors that I see succeed and watch on such programs as "Inside the Actor's Studio" have all embarked on their own journey and have tackled everything that has come in their direction. It is a funny thing being an actor. We think that math is not important yet probability runs our lives. The probability we will be discovered, the probability that we picked the perfect day to audition for a certain show at a certain time and that a certain director was watching and happened to cast you. It is so uncertain. Talent and looks are only a fraction of the puzzle. In fact, some of the best actors and actresses of our time, aren't exactly "lookers". What I have taken away from their words of wisdom and my own experience, is that you have to do what you have to do.
Some animals like being kept in captivity--it is safe. But they never truly get to feast upon their other cravings. Actors like Streep and Depp had a burning passion for the theatre and film. But they also had the exposure to the real world. Streep went to Vassar College and received a BA in Theatre...and THEN went on to study at a graduate school. One of the pearls of wisdom that she has shared has been the fact that she had a generalized undergraduate education in college. It is what made her well rounded and in tuned with the world around her. And Depp on the other hand, like a majority of film actors living, did not even attend college. He went on his own journey. And look at him. Look at both of these creatures. Completely different yet somehow immensely successful in the same profession. No one tells us when we screw up our lives or when we take a wrong turn. But deep down inside the cavities of the soul we truly know when we need to take a new direction. A lion knows when to go on a hunt for prey. And an actor knows when his time has come to open the curtain to the world and become a better artist.
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