After three days of uprooting my room...I finally did the impossible. I now have a newly cleaned and styled room of my own! Cleaning gave me a lot of time to think. And when I begin to think...I think a lot. And I begin to question, and ponder and meander around every subject you could possibly think about.
Lately, I have been confronted with this intense desire to break the mold and go. Just go...far away from this mundane and jobless place. I'm trying to bend the pattern, yet I find myself frantically applying my soul away. To school. For jobs. Everywhere.
I have this feeling, this instinct in the pit of my stomach. This impulse. It is calling me...to go...hundreds of thousands of miles away from Colorado. To a new terrain, a new world. Filled with dreams and potential. I've always been a dreamer. There have been few people who haven't questioned my intentions. And to the people that did, I gave them all the same reply. "I know it will happen." It is that simple. I JUST DO. It is something that I have always known and something that I will hold on to...until it happens. And then I will hopefully be able to say, "I told you so."
The Golden Globes are on tomorrow...I guess tonight. (It is also my brothers birthday, so I doubt that my parents will let me watch them.) But it's events like the Globes that get me motivated even more. To go on my quest. This itch is like...well....like an erection, it is set off by almost everything and is uncontainable. Film. Actor. Movie. LA. These are words which set off the fire...everyday. And then it is all that I can think about. Guys--you know that feeling when you think of something that turns you on and then...woop (bingo)...its there, and no thought of dead puppies or sadness can stop it. Erection. And then if you are in class or something you are constantly thinking of the most brutal and unappealing thoughts...but it does not work instantly. It just lingers.
It would almost be easier if my desire just ended...I went cold turkey from my passion. I would not have to worry about getting an agent or trying to make it "big". But I'm not like that...I am a worrier, and will not rest until I get to this destination--this ultimate goal in my life. I know they say opportunities present themselves in the most unlikely of times, but being impatient...I would please like that opportunity to present itself now.
Lately, I have been confronted with this intense desire to break the mold and go. Just go...far away from this mundane and jobless place. I'm trying to bend the pattern, yet I find myself frantically applying my soul away. To school. For jobs. Everywhere.
I have this feeling, this instinct in the pit of my stomach. This impulse. It is calling me...to go...hundreds of thousands of miles away from Colorado. To a new terrain, a new world. Filled with dreams and potential. I've always been a dreamer. There have been few people who haven't questioned my intentions. And to the people that did, I gave them all the same reply. "I know it will happen." It is that simple. I JUST DO. It is something that I have always known and something that I will hold on to...until it happens. And then I will hopefully be able to say, "I told you so."
The Golden Globes are on tomorrow...I guess tonight. (It is also my brothers birthday, so I doubt that my parents will let me watch them.) But it's events like the Globes that get me motivated even more. To go on my quest. This itch is like...well....like an erection, it is set off by almost everything and is uncontainable. Film. Actor. Movie. LA. These are words which set off the fire...everyday. And then it is all that I can think about. Guys--you know that feeling when you think of something that turns you on and then...woop (bingo)...its there, and no thought of dead puppies or sadness can stop it. Erection. And then if you are in class or something you are constantly thinking of the most brutal and unappealing thoughts...but it does not work instantly. It just lingers.
It would almost be easier if my desire just ended...I went cold turkey from my passion. I would not have to worry about getting an agent or trying to make it "big". But I'm not like that...I am a worrier, and will not rest until I get to this destination--this ultimate goal in my life. I know they say opportunities present themselves in the most unlikely of times, but being impatient...I would please like that opportunity to present itself now.
Let me leave you with this gem of a quote:
"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. " - Albert Einstein
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